How do we view the goals that we have set in life as time ticks on and perhaps throws the occasional curve at us? Sometimes it may be just a slight adjustment that is a temporary duration. But there are those instances where we are forced to sit back and reflect on the why we are in this fitness journey in the first place, because a major physical limitation or injury is now standing between you and your goals.

I have been running now for about seven months in my journey which actually started on September 12 2015. In the beginning my goal was that I was done quitting, skating or making excuses. I was going to reach a level of fitness that I would no longer be ashamed of. I was going to do whatever it took to reach the point that I would walk proud in the skin that I was given. As I grew in this new life of fitness, I wanted for the first time in life to know what it was like to train like an elite athlete. Through my travels, I was introduced to the greatness of athletes and the commitments that they make to reach their goals. I was in awe of the lengths that they went to achieve the things they did. So my goals began to grow and become more grandiose to match those that I was seeing out there in the community that I was following. But at the same time, they were goals that I was confident that I could reach at some point, even at my fifty age group. For example running an obstacle course race #complete, a marathon, or running some sort of ultra-long distance race is something that is completely acceptable for someone that is my age bracket.

Many of the later years of my life have been plagued with hip pain. My assumption was that I was simply sedentary and these were the pains of a sedentary person. When I was younger, they seemed to go away through activity. But as I went month to month never missing a day of my training, whether it be running or lifting, the pain was not going away, in fact it was getting worse. Finally last month I decided that I would give another doctor a try, as there have been a few, at figuring out what my hip pain was. This time we would take x-rays, MRI’s and whatever other tests were needed to figure out the exact cause. Femoral Acetabular Impingement (FAI)… This was the official call on my pain. It is an extra is bit of cartilage coming down the front of my hip socket which is impinging my femur as it reaches a 90 degree flexion. I will give more detail on this in another post, as this in and of itself is going to be a journey for pain free movement.

But the diagnosis has caused me now to step back and re-evaluate goals. I have completed a Tough Mudder and was prepping to run half marathons and beyond come fall of 2016. I run now about 20 miles a week, but my longer runs at 6 miles were getting very painful in my hip and sometimes I would be nearly immobile after that run from the pain. When I ran the Tough Mudder which was a 10.5 mile obstacle course over the hills of a horse farm, the pain hit bad at about mile 6, and getting my leg up high enough to scale obstacles was nearly impossible.

When you first reach the point of realizing that there may be some things that you may not ever get to participate in due to some injury it is tough on you mentally. At first it is the feeling of loss for the things you had set your sites on so vividly, and now they may not be a possibility. But then your brain starts to try and be your friend, “Well look at all the hard things that you have a valid excuse not to do”! In a way it makes the journey harder mentally, but it also makes your path far more authentic. Are you on the path of ultimate fitness due to the pull of other’s success, or are you really doing this for you? Side note: The whole concept of authenticity is a topic in its own that I will chat about later. My diagnosis of FAI is not something that is totally going to sideline me, but it may affect the distances that I can travel on foot. Currently I can run about 4 pain free miles. To some that may not seem like a lot, but considering that I never ran more than a mile ever, up until six months ago it’s a lot. My mind’s eye has already watched me run marathons and I have hard coded the suffering of long distances in my head. So to some extent I have already experienced something that I may have to currently let go for a smaller goal. But was I really staring down these distances for myself or my ego as something to talk about later to others? Whatever the outcome, I have reached a mental point where I am focusing my efforts on the steps along the way. I still see the big picture out there down the road, but now it is a picture of possibilities and not so much precise events. My vivid imagery in my mind’s eye is more focused on getting the 5 pain free miles a day, or adding 25 miles of bike riding.

The important point to all of this is that many things are not always the loss that we first perceive them to be. It was fine to have the initial goals that I did, It got me moving at a great pace and with purpose. I created a life of fitness and that will now carry with me forever. So I have already made it further than many who have attempted and quit early. I now run 4 miles a day without feeling like I will pass out. My resting heart rate has gone from 74 in September 2015 to currently sitting at 59 bpm. Having gratitude and acknowledgment for those successes is a real help when reflecting on what’s next.

Let me know your thoughts on times where you have had to refocus your goals and reflect on what your mission is.

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